Oh yeah, that specific type of "I need to pry into everything about you, no matter how personal because of MY issues" is definitely one of the major categories of boundary-crossing I've encountered.
And like... competing access needs is a thing, but leaving room for people who get actually inappropriate is super uncomfortable and absolutely will chase a lot of people away from a group.
I absolutely hate how so many things - right now, especially neurodivergence - has been turned into a get out of jail free card for a lot of situations. I almost certainly have ADHD and I get a lot of the things that people talk about, and understand the ways in which certain tasks or ways of communicating are hard. But it's not a magical "this means I can behave however I want, and asking for any effort on my part is ableist!" card. Asking for understanding is one thing, but this often isn't that. It IS trying to make a THEM problem into a YOU problem, and that's uncool and uncomfortable.

I wish that more people who organized groups like that WOULD put real thought into things like boundaries and such. A lot of them either have bad boundaries themselves, or are very susceptible to any perceived pressure... they try to be SO accepting, for fear of being called unaccepting/ableist/etc., that they wind up allowing that bad behavior that chases the people with better boundaries/lack of tolerance for bullshit out. So again, you wind up with a group of all bad boundaries, and it's a strange echo chamber of weirdness that no one else wants to touch.
But I'm not bitter. :P

I also get it - I've also put up with some serious weirdness because I feel like it's supposed to be "my people", or because it's the best I can find, or because I feel like I must be the odd one out if no one else has a problem with the way people are acting.
Anime clubs... writing groups... queer groups... *sigh*