Yeah, it's so hard to navigate it, but every time I've asked for help the reactions have been gross. Like, if I can't find a social space they must be rejecting me for a ~reason and I should stop trying to be around people. There are a lot of factors that lead to where I am, and the more distance I get the more I realize that being gender non-conforming was a bigger problem than I realized. Also, I've since learned things about some of the leaders of some cons and groups and yeah, they were actively policing the groups for certain things and I didn't realize it. Now it's all clear, but that doesn't help me now.

Ah, sorry to dump!

Having to cut ties and start over is really hard. My now-ex-therapist tried to hard sell me on the idea that the pandemic would be a huge boon for me with the online spaces and also how after people would be rushing to make new connections and expand their circles again. Yeah... that didn't happen.