olivermoss | (no subject)

I've already seen multiple reports of people being perceived as gender non-confirming being randomly attacked here in Portland within the past few days. There's been a sudden spike.

I've never passed as any gender. When I was younger I used to get tossed from dressing rooms because I was 'one of them come in from New York City'. I didn't know what I was being accused of at the time, but later I realized that me randomly being hassled or tossed from places was people assuming I was a trans woman or a drag queen 'having herself a fancy day'. I didn't even know the word trans when it started, and when I was older and got someone to tell me what the 't' in LGBT stood for, the definition I was given was for intersex, not trans. I was also told, pointed and repeatedly, that trans people are female, no one between genders ever goes male. I was also told that I needed to stop asking why.

I've never not had my gender questioned. I see other trans people talking about the stress of giving up being perceived as cis and the acceptance that brings. I don't even know what that's like.

I'm just perma-fucked.