(no subject)

[olivermoss]

* I've got 3 books to read for various book clubs! One of my goals for this year was to try to find a book club to join. It started out... rocky, which is why I signed up for a bunch.

A while back I found a queer book club via Meetup, only to realize that they were reading Irreparable Damage. (I was still seeing a therapist at the time and they tried to get me to go to the meeting because surely, they were reading it just to refute it. Transphobic queer groups in Portland, how could that be????? I didn't go, but I was confident that's not why they were reading it. I snooped in the group a bit afterwards and confirmed I was right.)

Add in some picks and suggestions for the first month of the year for a few clubs, I thought I was going to barely be able to attend because these clubs were just going to be dominated by authors I do not fuck with. But, suddenly, things seemed a lot better. Two Rivers, a bookstore that runs a queer book club, put out their book list for the whole year and it's all... good. Some of the picks are on my TBR list already. For the horror book club, if any of these authors suck I am blissfully unaware. The trans book club I can probably lightly steer towards authors I am okay with just because most of them don't even seem to even know any, so just having a very solid recc lists means that a lot of what we read with probably be from my list. And if they do pick something I have a problem with for one month, I can just skip that month. In the meantime, I am getting my list polished.

I mean, I am going to read a bunch of stuff I don't like to stay active in these clubs but there's a massive difference between 'ugh, YA again' and 'so this author has made some comments on podcasts that are so vile I am going to need a powerpoint presentation to even explain their rancid viewpoint'

* I should really make a post about that weird situation with Emilia Perez getting like a dozen Oscar noms for transmediaclub but I just can't handle wading through all this.

If you haven't heard about this fucking mess watch this musical number and then think about the fact that this movie got 13 noms. It ranks in Oscars history based on number of noms alone. More than Wicked!

This clip of Trixie and Katya talking about it is good, though. With all the controversies that the lead is suddenly in, the movie's hopefully wont actually win any Oscars. (Because none of this is about the film's quality, it's about... fucking Hollywood acting like a parody of itself) I am going to get upset over this crap if I actually make a proper post about it and I have enough other stuff to be upset about

* It's even odds that I am going to post a rant soon about people talking about trans people and experience in Portland. The whole acting like this place is magic and filled with 'trans people everywhere' and 'no place here would discriminate, why would you even ask that'. I don't want to rant, I want to fucking do something, find this magical alternate portland that I cannot see because I am under a dark curse. I don't want to sit here figuring out the best way to express how fucking awful my experiences have been, I want to go have a good experience. I want to be able to ask a question and get support, instead of people making fun of me or making gross assumptions about me.

* anyway fuck this i am off to shoot a dragon

Comments

[barbaratp]

A atriz de Emilia Perez entrou em uma briga de mentiras contra a brasileira três vezes indica ao Oscar Fernanda Torres. Primeiro ela disse que precisava de ajuda contra os brasileiros que ela dizia que estavam a lhe atacar (a gente estava criticando o filme que é horrível), depois que Fernanda deu o apoio em vídeo pedindo para ter respeito pela atriz a boa senhora decidiu começar a acusar a equipe do filme de sabotagem contra ela. Tanto que os brasileiros nervosos descobriram junto com outros latinos alguns tweets preconceituosos dela que criticavam as pessoas negras e asiáticas no Oscar, o que levou ao perfil da premiação no Instagram a parar de seguir ela. E agora há notícias que ela não fará mais parte da divulgação por estar manchando as chances do filme com coisas infundadas. Mas o filme não deveria nem ter chances. Uma obra produzida sem nenhum respeito aos mexicanos, as pessoas trans, com falas problemáticas (como a da pesquisa sobre cirurgia de redesignação de sexo), além do uso de AI para corrigir toda a cantoria horrível dessa bomba que é Emilia Perez. Eu sinto que essa obra esteja no Oscar, é um grande desserviço para a premiação, para o cinema, para as pessoas trans, para o mundo.

Adorei que você tenha encontrado um bom clube do livro. É difícil achar algum que seja realmente bom, já que já pessoas que estão lá fingindo ser outras. Já me ocorreu isso no passado, de tentar me encaixar só para descobrir que o ambiente não me cabia por diversos motivos.

Vi sua entrada do festival das luzes parece incrível.

[mistressofmuses]

I'm glad you've had better luck with the book clubs this time! And yes, even if some of the books aren't ones you're likely to enjoy, it is a big difference between "bleh, I dislike this genre/these tropes" and "hey, this author is a virulently hateful person who does a lot of willful harm."

It is awful how much transphobia still exists within the wider queer community. So many people just completely fail to see it even when it's in front of them, or just don't believe that it could exist at all. Not in such a wonderfully progressive, queer-friendly place, especially! Not in my utopia! (I accidentally typed "untopia" and it felt like a really funny freudian slip of the keyboard.)
I wish you could have some truly good experiences to balance out the shitty ones. I wish the shitty groups and people could just get shut out.

I hardly even know what to say about the Emilia Perez... whole thing. Deeply what the fuck.

[olivermoss]

There is also 'this person is also this other person online and hooo boy' or 'this trans rep is actually really fucking icky'. One author who was a serious problem a few years ago seems to have fallen off of the face of the planet. Maybe people figured out that just because they are a minority doesn't mean they are right about everything.

Portland does work out for a lot of people, and for some a bad time here is still better than a bad time in Kentucky. But this whole 'act like it's perfect' and treating people asking for help like the enemy because they might break the illusion? Really not helping. Back in 2019 when I was involved in that one FTM group that now barely even exists due to how much the Q Center wants it to actually end it, I had a front row seat to seeing a lot of new transplants having the 'expectations? meet reality' moment. It was fucking harsh.

That group is now hanging on by a thread, one people are trying to cut, and the one trans-inclusive event in Bi Brigade no longer exists. I went and checked the other day.

[mistressofmuses]

Oh man, the awfulness of people who have multiple sock accounts, or just juggle completely different identities online... eesh. (Not inherently evil! Different pennames for different genres, or a division between a personal and a professional account is hardly weird or rare.) But there are specific behaviors that some authors display, of creating different accounts specifically to either hype themselves or create drama or go after other authors while keeping their main persona squeaky clean... ugh.

Yeah, I'm sure that's a non-zero amount: "a bad day here is at least not a bad day Where I Was" or whatnot. But that attitude of not being "allowed" to discuss negatives does absolutely no favors to anyone, and actively prevents improvements from being made. It sucks extra because in the case of things like transmasc support groups (or even just social groups!) I think it sounds like something needed so desperately, but so discouraged by the wider spaces that it just... doesn't happen. That sucks, I'm sorry.

[olivermoss]

That, or 'this pro author is also this wanky fan author'. Certain levels of wank I don't care about, but some... hoo boy. Also, people using new names to distance themselves to previous books isn't bad, it's good to move on, but also as a reader I've felt not happy about buying stuff by an author I want to avoid. It's complicated

Yeah, we can't fix the problems, and also new people having a completely fake history of the city doesn't help. But, like, being in touch with reality isn't praxis

[mistressofmuses]

Oh yes. There's wank that really is utterly meaningless, and wank that is anything but. There are plenty of good reasons to start with a new name, whether it's distancing yourself from old work that you no longer want to be tied to, or just because you're writing in a different genre and you don't want to confuse the current audience... but yeah, same. As a reader, finding a new penname for a familiar author can either be "ooh, more!" or "ah shit, I was trying to avoid this writer..."

It's really shitty that new people don't get to have an accurate idea of what to expect, and may make life-altering decisions (like... moving across the country!) based on something that isn't real.
The best thing possible would be to make the perceived utopia as real as possible, to build the sort of supportive and accepting community people think is waiting for them... but that would require cooperation and acknowledging that it isn't perfect as-is, and frustratingly it doesn't sound like there are enough people willing to do that. (And too many who are more willing to sabotage the attempts that people DO start.)

[olivermoss]

Yeah, and the new arrivals don't go 'you got me good, making me take a risk to go to a very high cost of living area with a very narrow job market! I very much want to be part of this community!'

Even if they stay, they don't want to be a part of stuff. I can't blame them.

[mistressofmuses]

Yeah... that certainly isn't the way to build community. I can't blame the people who feel like they got tricked for not wanting to turn around and try to build things for other people... The whole situation sucks.

[olivermoss]

Yeah, it's created a very, very ongoing problem. Where are all the trans men? Who knows! They must all be doing so well, opting into patriarchy and all, that they don't need support or community or even being acknowledged as real!

[mistressofmuses]

This particular bout of "find the acceptable targets within the community" targeting trans men is... such garbage. It's always garbage when there's some particular identity being singled out, but this particular round has been going on for a long time and it sucks.

[olivermoss]

I am beyond tired at this point

[mistressofmuses]

I can only imagine. I'm sorry.