(no subject)

[olivermoss]

This is a short by PirateSoftware, a twitch streamer and game dev whose content has blown up so fast recently he's had to have several meetings with his tax person. He used to work for Blizzard and is now an indie game devs who is popular for talking about how to code, how to learn things and complete projects with a deep voice.

Anyway, the short is called Work Puzzles and he talks about how it's fun to start new projects because they are new and you are doing things you haven't done before. But, once you get to the middle is when it feels like work and a lot of people stop there and then start something else new. But, if you learn to love the puzzle solving of fixing things, you go from starting new projects to getting stuff done. Also, learning to love how to take projects and fix them is how you get good.

While I agree with this I'd add that once you are good at doing a thing, working past road blocks or what some people call 'pain points' in a project feels really good. There is a pleasure in using a well honed skill. I am starting to get there with writing. But, one thing that is going on with my life in general is that I have a lot of well honed skills that I intend to never use a again. Most of what I used to do for work and what I did for the hobbies I spent time on? I realized one day that I'd put all my Experience Points in the wrong places and needed a hard reset. Shortly after that, I had my health crisis and got light and sound sensitivities meaning that I literally couldn't keep doing some things I was good at.

I'd table flipped on convention running, which I've talked about, but also what I was best at work-wise I was never doing again. A lot of skills, and there were big overlaps between my work skills and what I did outside of work, I was just like nope, I am putting all of this behind me.

Also, I used to be a top GW2 player. I was hand picked to help beta test raids. The reason I left my competitive play skill group was because someone purchased us and hell no I wasn't turning playing GW2 into a side hustle. If you've ready this far tell me truly, what is more surprising? That I used to be good enough at GW2 that I could have made money at it, or that people are willing to pay actual fiat currency to get people to play for their side to raise their server's ranking? Instead of community nights, making people currently on the server feel welcome in the competitive scene, pugmanding, etc... nope, don't community build just open that wallet! Seriously, people that dogshit pathetic actually exist! They value the number next to the server over the people on it.

Then I acquired photo-sensitivity and now I have to strictly limit play. I will never be anything but a lower-end casual again and I am fine with that. I could write hundreds of word explaining why, but it boils down to 'I know what it would take to get good again, and I refuse to put in that much time and effort. I want to spend my energy elsewhere.'

But, yeah, if I seem very frustrated / behind / etc about a lot of things, that is why. Well, that and socially... nah, let's just ignore that aspect of my life for now. In terms of my professional life, my creative goals, skills that I have which are socially valued, etc... I basically had a hard reset followed by a health crisis where I was functional about an hour away for about 18 months and then slowly, slowly started to recover. And now what I most what to do, write, is finally getting to the point described in that video, where I can take a project and fix it. I am finally getting that feeling you get from being not-terrible at something.

Comments

[mistressofmuses]

I sympathize with the feeling of... like, hey, I put all my points in the wrong categories, and I wish I could start a new file.

Congratulations on getting to the point where you're leveling up in those new skills that you want your energy and time to go toward. That doesn't make it NOT suck to have had to basically start over on all of this.

(Side note, yeah, fuck that shitty "purchasing good players to boost your server" garbage. That is pathetic! Pay to win is crap, and that's just another incarnation of it.)

[olivermoss]

Yeah, hard resets suck because you've still got the aging debuff no matter what you do. Can't actually restart. But, in this case it was the right move. It's just very weird when my brain looks at things like the Wonka event and my brain recalls the depth of knowledge I have about certain things.

[mistressofmuses]

The aging debuff is no joke. I wish there WAS a better option for a restart, but alas.

Definitely the right move. Though I imagine it IS a weird experience, looking at things about which you know waaaay more than the average layperson, and seeing a much deeper level of just how fucked it is, ha.

[olivermoss]

Also people treating fails like that as very rare kinda makes me want to make longposts about local convention failures. Willy's Chocolate Adventure was special, but honestly people getting caught up in their own hype or whatever and creating disasters is not uncommon.

[mistressofmuses]

I feel like that is a poorly understood facet... the big failures CAN be spectacular, but SO MANY events fall apart. A LOT of people wildly overestimate their organizational abilities, or underestimate how much things cost, or have no clue how to actually coordinate the things they want. So many people are done in by their own hype, or the hype of the people around them, or try to jump straight to something with hundreds of people involved... That isn't actually that uncommon.

[olivermoss]

Also, there is a lot to attendee and staff behaviors and experiences that I can explain until I am blue in the face, but it's not going to click for people until they see it. How well registration going is like 80% of whether people have a good time because the biggest source of happiness people get from the con is *other people* and sourness is catching.

There are so many logistical and legal things people don't get.

But the big fails here are people seeing how a company that gets hundreds of people working for free and no on drawing a profit can do cool things and somehow it doesn't click for them that if they try to do a con for profit there are multiple critical differences. Actually, someone in the town haaaaates me because every time he posted looking for staff I'd comment either to the post or each respondent, depending on how the comments where structured, making sure everyone knew it was a for-profit con and his long winded text and 'supporting and growing your community' was also working for him for free. He did not like this. He is one of two people in Portland who think they figured out the path to the big time and I am the only thing that got in their way. He tried some "I'm being attacked for no reason" shit and harassed me for years. But people working for free 'for their niche subculture' when really it's to enrich some fucking guy, yeah, I just can't. I can't put into words how much that pisses me off. No exploiting idealistic fans on my fucking watch.

[mistressofmuses]

People in general just Do Not understand much about large-scale events. There is SO much that has to be taken care of, every step of the way. And very true: people tend to want to go to cons of any type because there are other people there! If people are not having a good time, that attitude will be catching.

Oh, that is a HUGE difference that a lot of people don't recognize. Community effort for a community event - something with zero profit (or any profit being donated to a charity or something) is a very different beast than something where a handful of people (or just one!) plan to make money off of the event.

The Worst Person I Know has tried a lot of similar things (that have fortunately all crashed and burned.) But she's multiple times tried to "mobilize the community" to donate ENORMOUS quantities of time, money, and resources... to her.

I'm glad that you've prevented that guy from getting his get-rich-quick foothold in Portland! Trying to exploit a community in that fashion, trying to get people to do unpaid labor to get some asshole a payday? ABSOLUTELY ENRAGING. I'm with you. There IS a lot of enthusiastic idealism within fan communities, and anyone taking advantage of that for their own benefit deserves no mercy.

[olivermoss]

His project is dead and buried and I am reasonably sure it ended in debt, not profit. Lots of people want a way to help their niche subculture or feel connected, it's easy to take advantage.

The funny thing is when he was getting started, he thinks he was amazingly smooth and schmoozed some creator's booking info out of me when... that's freely shared info? He was bragging about having gotten me to give up the info and it's like bro, what a fucked up mindset. Also, like, he couldn't handle booking the Foglios. *I* had serious trouble handling booking and hosting the Foglios. They are NOT organized people.

It reminds me of Illuminatii thinking Legal Eagle was trying to plagiarize her because he editor asked her editor what AfterEffects plug in they were using. These are like normal questions and shared info among people who do the same stuff, not secrets we hide to get an edge on each other. But like seriously, he thinks he got one over on me.

That sucks about Worst Person. Some people just see money, energy and enthusiasm and are like 'but what if for me?' Such fucking entitlement.

[mistressofmuses]

I'm real glad that his shit crashed and burned, as it should have. It's a deep low to try and take advantage of people's enthusiasm like that.

That is also hilarious. Acting like he got state secrets out of you when it was just... regular information that was not being hidden in any way? That really does point to how fucked up his mentality about life in general is.

I can see how it's that same sort of just... poisoned mindset that leads to the "you copied me!" just because someone asked a question. That idea that absolutely every single interaction is a power struggle or an attempt to get one over on the other party. What a fucked up way to go through life!

[olivermoss]

Yeah, the mindsets of other people terrify me sometimes. I feel like conventions draw these sorts of people and all they can see is ways to steal and take advantage and other stuff. They see social and monetary power and nothing else.

[mistressofmuses]

I feel like that really must be a miserable way to go through life: treating everything like a power struggle, and trying to get one over on everyone you meet, because you expect everyone to be trying to get one over on you. What an awful way to view the world!

There are way too many people who clearly feel that way.