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I had an early flight, but didn't think it would be too hard to get there. The light rail to the airport was having issues with the airport stop being closed. Also, the train I needed to take to that train was having ~staffing issues~ so there are delays of up to 38 minutes. So, I planned on a rideshare and just leaving extra time in case it took a minute to get a car. It took almost 20 minutes for Lyft to find me a ride, and then it said that pick up would be in another 20 minutes. It took the guy 30 minutes to get to me, but I chalked that up to Lyft’s estimates often being overly rosy.
Shortly into the ride the guy started describing to me his plan for a democratic economy based on divination using the art of college art students to predict the future. With his plan, we’d go back to the 20 hour work weeks we had in the 40s and earlier, before gender equality broke everything. He just kept talking, from how his divination method has been proven using it to predict silver prices.
Also, he drove an EV and it’s battery was low. There was a large screen on his dash showing the warning. Halfway through the ride his hazards came on automatically. I was just listening to ramblings, watching the battery tick down and also watching him miss 5 turns. The trip took way longer than it should have and I was already in 'if security is backed up, I'm screwed' territory. Also, I was seriously worried about his car dying before we got there and being stranded with this guy somewhere in the dark.
Then he went quiet for a bit. Then he started to apologize over and over again because he drank caffeine and every ‘future reality’ in which he drinks caffeine things go bad. He also started talking about seeing things. I should have made him pull over and launched myself from the car, even though that would mean missing both my flight and my train connection. I don't know if it's because I'd had two hours of sleep and was completely tunnel visioned on making my flight somehow, but I talked to him, got him calmed down and got him through the last few turns. I wish I hadn't. My report on him would have been taken more seriously by Lyft if I'd ended the ride early, but also like... would they even really care? Nothing works like it should now.
When he got there I told him to see where the nearest charging station was, the airport had to have one. He said he was fine to get home. I told him I didn’t want him stranded. He wouldn’t listen.
Then I got inside and got my boarding pass. I had trouble because I was so stressed from the ride I was literally shaking. It had been about 45 minutes of sheer stress. When the kiosk pulled up my info said ‘first class’ and my boarding class was ‘pri’ for priority. I figured it was just a boarding categorization thing. PDX’s redesign means that we have fast security, shoes stay on, and you have to pass slowly two at a time through a large area with sniffer dogs.
I made my flight, just barely. And yup, my seat was in the first class section, which is not what I’d booked. I went back and triple checked. I had booked seat 3A, but I'd booked the 'extra legroom' option on a small plane without a first class cabin. This is weird, because my impression is that surprise upgrades, like 'oops we changed planes and now you get to try first class' used to be a thing that happened, but not anymore. It was a marketing strat to make flying seem more exciting, twenty years ago. Maybe for reasons they are bringing that back, especially for Alaska Airlines flights out of PDX?
Anyway, the important part is that I was offered champaign as soon as I got on. I don’t typically drink before 7 AM, but if there was a day to do it. I felt a lot better after that. I was able to eat some of the food in first class, including some of the snacks. The food they offer is almost never edible to me, so I ate some because I could. I had champaign, orange juice, coffee, bacon, fruit and potato chips for breakfast.
I may break up my trip into a stupid number of posts, but yeah, just this post had gotten long enough. I still feel shitty about not launching myself from that car, but like what if the guy tried to stay with me? I just wanted to get to that airport so badly.
Shortly into the ride the guy started describing to me his plan for a democratic economy based on divination using the art of college art students to predict the future. With his plan, we’d go back to the 20 hour work weeks we had in the 40s and earlier, before gender equality broke everything. He just kept talking, from how his divination method has been proven using it to predict silver prices.
Also, he drove an EV and it’s battery was low. There was a large screen on his dash showing the warning. Halfway through the ride his hazards came on automatically. I was just listening to ramblings, watching the battery tick down and also watching him miss 5 turns. The trip took way longer than it should have and I was already in 'if security is backed up, I'm screwed' territory. Also, I was seriously worried about his car dying before we got there and being stranded with this guy somewhere in the dark.
Then he went quiet for a bit. Then he started to apologize over and over again because he drank caffeine and every ‘future reality’ in which he drinks caffeine things go bad. He also started talking about seeing things. I should have made him pull over and launched myself from the car, even though that would mean missing both my flight and my train connection. I don't know if it's because I'd had two hours of sleep and was completely tunnel visioned on making my flight somehow, but I talked to him, got him calmed down and got him through the last few turns. I wish I hadn't. My report on him would have been taken more seriously by Lyft if I'd ended the ride early, but also like... would they even really care? Nothing works like it should now.
When he got there I told him to see where the nearest charging station was, the airport had to have one. He said he was fine to get home. I told him I didn’t want him stranded. He wouldn’t listen.
Then I got inside and got my boarding pass. I had trouble because I was so stressed from the ride I was literally shaking. It had been about 45 minutes of sheer stress. When the kiosk pulled up my info said ‘first class’ and my boarding class was ‘pri’ for priority. I figured it was just a boarding categorization thing. PDX’s redesign means that we have fast security, shoes stay on, and you have to pass slowly two at a time through a large area with sniffer dogs.
I made my flight, just barely. And yup, my seat was in the first class section, which is not what I’d booked. I went back and triple checked. I had booked seat 3A, but I'd booked the 'extra legroom' option on a small plane without a first class cabin. This is weird, because my impression is that surprise upgrades, like 'oops we changed planes and now you get to try first class' used to be a thing that happened, but not anymore. It was a marketing strat to make flying seem more exciting, twenty years ago. Maybe for reasons they are bringing that back, especially for Alaska Airlines flights out of PDX?
Anyway, the important part is that I was offered champaign as soon as I got on. I don’t typically drink before 7 AM, but if there was a day to do it. I felt a lot better after that. I was able to eat some of the food in first class, including some of the snacks. The food they offer is almost never edible to me, so I ate some because I could. I had champaign, orange juice, coffee, bacon, fruit and potato chips for breakfast.
I may break up my trip into a stupid number of posts, but yeah, just this post had gotten long enough. I still feel shitty about not launching myself from that car, but like what if the guy tried to stay with me? I just wanted to get to that airport so badly.
