(no subject)

[olivermoss]

I've hit a wall with weight loss. I am not stressing about it because I have hit my first major milestone and consider further weight loss to be stretch goals. Being down 45 pounds is a lot. It's like I was carrying around an 6 year old all the time and now all that weight is off my my knees, feet, spine, etc. Also, spending a bit of time of this weight to let new habits become normal is not the worst thing. Still, I intend to lose at least 20 pounds more.

This weight has always been a barrier for me. I used to weigh somewhere north of 315 due to have a serious digestive disorder than went undiagnosed for a decade. Doctors would rather die than take the medical complaints of an overweight person seriously. 315 was as high as the scale at my parent's went so I don't even know how heavy I was, just that it was more than that. After my condition was diagnosed, I got down to 160-ish ... but then gained back to 190 and sort of stabilized there. I tried weight loss a few times and just kept bouncing off of it.

I like that I've taken the equivalent of an 6 year old off of my joints. It's easier to be active, less risky to hike, etc. I would really like to take off at least 20 pounds more. I don't want to get stuck here.

I'd also like to figure out how to break this wall soon because of clothing. It's such a pain to replenish my wardrobe and I'd like to do so less often. The sorts of places I shop still don't allow clothes to be tried on. So I've just had to guess at sized and cuts. This has been a very ongoing problem, especially since the local Target keeps having supply problems. I go and there are no medium tops at all

So, there are pros and cons to being stuck here for a bit. My body is still adjusting to being down so much weight ... and so is my face. Weight loss doesn't make me somehow attractive, it just makes me look older. So that's demotivating, but I just have to deal with it. Want to get the weight off my bones.