(no subject)

[olivermoss]

* I drew a meme thingy for Slay The Princess and some people liked it! This will make no sense to people who haven't played. But hey I finished a Procreate thing! Slay The Princess is the next game by the makers of Scarlet Hollow, they just released a longer free demo for the first part of the game.

* Fuuuuuuck this has been a week. I've picked up a few things from the HB90 system where you do quarterly goals and resets which I think is good, but I started doing my 'end of 3 month period check in' and just a lot of stuff hit me and I suddenly had the sort of exhaustion/drop that I haven't had in years. Then Darcelle died and I've been dealing with both her being going in the middle of all this anti-drag stuff and what she meant to the community, and also that I've never been part of the queer community here. I am part of it, and not. I am mourning the impact on people who never accepted me. They would, these days, accept a young me but sadly time is linear. Then after so much exhaustion this week I had an insomnia spike from hell last night and only slept 2 hours.

* And also in the middle of all this I posted both my first and second overtly trans fanfic. My brain is just done with everything.

Comments

[mistressofmuses]

That sounds like a lot. *hugs* if wanted, because ugh. A lot.

I hope you get a chance to decompress a bit.

[olivermoss]

Hugs are good. Yeah, just... a lot.

Sometimes I think I am not pushing myself enough to get stuff done, make progress, etc... and then I realize I am pushing myself a lot, considering my current level of fatigue issues.

[mistressofmuses]

Ugh, I hate that constant struggle. It's really hard to find that balance between pushing too hard and burning out and not pushing enough and never getting anywhere on things. It sucks! But especially when you're fatigued and dealing with a lot of other stuff... you need and deserve true downtime, too.

[olivermoss]

I am moving forward, but slowly. Just... the current status of things is not okay but I can only do so much. But, I did finish a major project this past week as well. Though I have spent a lot of the past 18 hours asleep. I need more downtime, pushing too much just leads to spinning wheels.

[mistressofmuses]

You do need more downtime. Pushing too hard is way more of a hindrance in the medium and long runs. Though it's great that you did get a major thing finished this week! And also that you got some sleep. The sleep and the "doing nothing taxing" time is important, especially when there's an awful lot of not great stuff going on elsewhere in life.

[olivermoss]

Yeah, I am just bad at downtime. I don't know how to zone out well, so I wind up being overtired and unproductive. I slept a LOT over the weekend. I needed it I guess.

[mistressofmuses]

I know the feeling. I tend to feel like I'm wasting time, or wind up realizing that I'm not even enjoying the "nothing" that I'm doing. It's frustrating! But I'm glad you got some sleep - you probably did need it.