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It's been a while since one of these for a reason.
Since I was a teenager I've been scared of losing access to foods that are safe for me to eat with my allergies and also my IBS. I've made a lot of life choices based around worrying that I'd lose access to food. This wasn't a problem for most of the pandemic, partially because I typically keep such a backstock of egg noodles, broth powder, peanut butter and baked beans just in case. Also, I was preparing for all this when my therapist said I was just 'doomscrolling' and had lost touch with reality when I asked her how sessions would pivot to online, then next week we were online. (I'd still like a *&$%ing apology for all the times she said I was just doomscrolling and was right on the money)
Anyway, the last 4 months have been pretty bad. The specific foods I rely on have been with gone, or doubled in price. I've run to the store for a few things and literally nothing on my list has been there.
The only way for me to not have anxiety/sleep problems is to basically eat an extra meal a day so I feel full in the evenings. Eating an extra meal a day, especially when weather has made more more sedentary than usual, not great for keeping the pounds off.
I initially lost ... wait what was my starting weight again? Uh, I lost 35 or 45 pounds and I've gained back 5... which is not a lot considering. Also, all of my smaller clothes still fit. So, I am not mad at it. I've managed a shitty situation pretty well. However, I want to clamp down and get back to losing. No matter what the future holds, I'll face it better in better shape. (And, let's be real, more crop problems are coming and I'll handle that better in better health.)
I've been stuck hungry and surrounded by food I cannot eat on multiple occasions. 3 times I've wound up Not Okay levels of hungry while there was food around. I don't mean 'could eat a horse' level of hungry, I am talking 'having problems functioning' levels of hungry.
If Portland has a major disaster there are strategically placed stores of food all around to support the populace. It's all soy based. I've asked the Cascadian Preppers what about all the people in Portland with allergies? We have a higher than usual number of people with celiac, allergies, IBS etc due to this just being a better place for us. What I've been told is that the food aid will not be for me, I should have my own. In the event of a major disaster they want to save as many as possible.. and saving the most people means strategically not caring about people like me.
They have point blank told me that the strategy is to leave people like me without food. I know they are this blunt in hopes of ensuring I buy a case of peanut butter for myself and aren't a strain on the system, but I am from the East Coast and am used to having an emergency food supply. That's part of New England culture. Being told that just makes me feel anxious and unsafe.
I've spoken to them a few times because I think they need to communicate better about certain populations being on their own in a earthquake, but so far they haven't.
Yeah, I have a lot of reasons for this to be a major stress point for me. Food for others, but no food for me.
I really want a walking buddy or some sort of weight loss group. Noom was a mistake and there have been some viral articles calling out their methods as bad. Weight Watchers online was a mess, and the offline meetings are few and at terrible times. Not sure what to do or how to structure this next phase of getting in shape. For right now I am just sort of setting the intention, telling myself each day I am getting back into yoga... then not doing yoga.
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Date: 2022-04-23 04:03 am (UTC)From:I hate that. Especially when there ARE a lot of people with extreme dietary restrictions. I understand the cold equation, and the decision that saving more people is better. That doesn't make it not deeply, deeply shitty to tell a certain subset of disabled people that they're expendable and an acceptable loss.
Especially when it comes from groups you expect better from.
Weight stuff is frustrating. I keep promising myself that I'll do better, and I... don't. I'm hopeful the summer will be better for getting out and at the very least walking, but only being able to do that on days off from work isn't enough to make much of a difference.
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Date: 2022-04-23 05:36 am (UTC)From:But also, I've always expected that I'd be screwed in a lot of situations.
I am going to get back to my Yoga with Adrienne today or tomorrow. I love her office routines because I don't even need to clear a space, just stand up and do a few things.
Weight stuff does suck.
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Date: 2022-04-24 02:27 am (UTC)From:But they ABSOLUTELY need to make that messaging clear, because there are a lot of people who need to know they're on their own.
You've mentioned Yoga with Adrienne before! I really should check her out. My goal for this year was to at least start stretching, and I... have not.
Weight stuff is just... really frustrating.
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Date: 2022-04-24 03:32 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2022-04-28 02:58 am (UTC)From:I'm definitely starting from a not great place, and a level of "high school gym for the one required semester was the last time I did a regular workout of any kind". I've walked and hiked since, and had mildly physical jobs occasionally, but uh... yeah, I need pretty beginner stuff, ha.
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Date: 2022-04-28 08:18 pm (UTC)From:I like her yoga for writers video because than and a few others are aimed at what being a computer too much does to the body. I do Office Break Yoga the most because you don't need to clear a space, just stand at your desk for a bit. But that one does have Eagle Pose which took me a while to work up to.
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Date: 2022-04-29 04:16 am (UTC)From:The "being at a computer too much" is definitely part of my issue. Between work and the even worse posture cultivated by sitting on my bed with my laptop at home, it's no wonder I've got back pain, lol.
I will definitely look up both Yoga for Writers and Office Break Yoga. (Not needing a bunch of space is DEFINITELY a plus.)