(no subject)

[olivermoss]

It's been a while since one of these! To long...

Anyway, coming up on my New Orleans trip and I am down 17 pounds. That sounds like a lot? *triple checks math* Yup, that's the number.

My brain is weirdly in denial of having lost weight. I've tried showing it visualizations of what 17 pounds of fat looks like. I've showed it pictures of those stairs I've climbed and asking my brain how it would feel about doing those carrying 4 2-liter bottles of soda, and my brain is just confused why I am even thinking about that. It's like 'Sounds miserable, what is your point?'

While this is a good problem to have, I've hit a point where I cannot wear most of my old clothes and I am about to travel. I can't just buy the same stuff in a smaller size because either it doesn't exist, the company seems to no longer exist or the smaller size wont fit me because I am very broad shouldered and hipped. I am a tricky fit due to my bones. I really think that wearing clothes you've worn a lot is key to both feeling good and also looking good on a trip. New clothes can mean shirts not falling how you expect, etc. Also, all new underthings can maybe be not great after being out walking all day.

The good news is that I am fine for geeky T-shirts. I will never wear a smaller size than I currently do because of my linebacker shoulders. My geeky T shirt collection is not as robust as I'd like right now, but all the mothmen and other cryptids can stay in my closet.

The other trip complication, is what to eat in New Orleans? If I could do dairy and soy, I wouldn't care. I'd eat out every meal. New Orleans has one of the most famous and unique food scenes in the world. If I can find a place that can serve me gumbo I am going to eat it. That's not the problem.

Here's the problem: since I was 18 I've had anxiety about food that I, specifically me, can eat being unavailable. Not food shortages in general, but there being food around but none for me. Sadly, this anxiety has been compounded by many experiences and also the food supply disruptions of the past 5 years. So many foods I rely on either disappeared or more than doubled in price. I legit could not meal plan for 2 solid years because I'd go to the store and stuff would just not be there. The key to me getting back on track has been keeping my pantry very stocked. At any moment I can think ahead what my next three meals are. I need that.

For Neskowin, Garibaldi and Seattle I just brought a ton of food. I am bringing some food with me to Louisiana, but I need to source most of my food there. I might arrive and the local grocery store has those weird canned pasta salad things and I can buy a stack and be fine. The French influence means I can probably buy bread I can eat. If I can't get an un-adulterated baguette I will be shocked. (Soy in American made 'french bread'? More likely than you think! Also, why some of y'all putting soy in sourdough??) Fun fact, Safeway doesn't carry a single bread product I can eat.

If I gain weight back on my trip, it'll have been worth it. It's the food anxiety I want to keep on lock. Things might so surprisingly smoothly, but it's always a crap shoot.

Comments

[profiterole_reads]

I hope you'll find food you can eat without problems.

[olivermoss]

Thanks. Sometimes once I get to a place I find it's no problem, but it's impossible to know in advance so I can't plan things

[princessofgeeks]

Wishing you all the best as you manage your health and battle the food anxiety issues.

[olivermoss]

Thank you! Once I get to a place, sometimes it turns out to be easy to find food, but there's no way to be sure in advance

[mistressofmuses]

Congratulations on the good problem to have, but I'm sorry it's still causing a problem!

I do hope that you can find things that are both comfortable and attractive for travel. I hate how often good clothes are just plain no longer available when you want to replace them.

The food thing is definitely rough. :/ I certainly hope you're able to find things that are suitable. I REALLY hope you find things that are more than suitable, but are in fact great!

(But soy is in SO MUCH. I don't have to avoid it, but I know how often it shows up in things it has no business being in. If I recall when I worked in a bakery, it was in one of the most common pan sprays, which meant a lot of stuff came into cross contact with it for no good reason.)

[olivermoss]

Finding clothes takes so much time! Brands have changed so much, etc.

Once I am there, figuring out food might be easy, but it's impossible to plan in advance. The internet is staggeringly useless for this. From google telling me that Garibaldi didn't have a grocery story to people on reddit telling me to go to vegan places and being all 'this, this is your answer' and it's aaalllll soy. It's like people lump together all food restrictions into one single 'other' category in their brains. How little most people seem to know about food, the amount of times I've had to say 'soy is a vegetable' is nuts.

No oil should touch sourdough, especially stuff claiming to be authentic.

[mistressofmuses]

I hate clothing shopping. It's always so frustrating!

I do really hope that it winds up being a complete non-issue... but it's really tough when you can't know for sure ahead of time. This is the kind of thing the internet should be able to answer for you, and yet... you're completely right that you can't completely trust what it says.

Oh jeez, "you have to avoid soy? just eat vegan!"
"Vegan... a diet that has often been mocked because 'ew tofu'?"

RIGHT? So many unnecessary ingredients in things! Things that *should not* be in things!

[olivermoss]

It's amazing to me how most people don't get food. That food cooked in a pan is going to use oil as a cooking medium 99.99% of the time is a totally alien concept to most people.

[mistressofmuses]

It's... a little distressing how little people do understand about food, like what it contains, how it's prepared...